Montessori Monday: Chores.

"Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed." 

This is one of my favourite quotes from Maria Montessori and one that reflects the way we parent. In fact, nurturing independence is what I believe is the common link between Montessori philosophies and attachment parenting. 


We encourage Kale to practice independence by giving him as many opportunities as possible and we are rewarded by the joy he gets from achievement. Sure, it slows things down A LOT (have you see a two year old try to put his own shoes on??), but we also have a two year old that gets his own snacks when he's hungry and scrapes his dishes off and puts them in the sink when he's finished eating. 

One of the ways we try to nurture his independence is to involve him in daily chores around the house. Here's a few ways he helps out: 

Cooking. 

Every afternoon when I get home from work, Kale and I start cooking dinner together. He likes to get the ingredients out of the fridge for me and then will pull a chair up to the counter to watch me cut and prepare. He likes measuring and pouring and mixing - all things he works on in his Montessori class! 

Laundry. 

You all know about Kale's love of laundry. Well, not much as changed - except he's better at it! Not only does Kale know to put his clothes in the laundry when he takes them off, but he can sort them by colour (whites, darks, colours) and then when we're done, he sorts them in piles (mama, papa, Kale, kitchen, bathroom). 

Vacuuming. We can actually set Kale loose with a vacuum and take a nap and wake up to clean floors (don't worry, we don't actually nap...just sort of rest our eyes). We bought him a toy vacuum, which he thinks is pretty rad, but prefers the cleaning action of the real one. 


Dusting & polishing. Kale can empty a spray bottle full of water in a matter of minutes. The kid likes to clean stuff. He will spray down just about anything and then wipe it up with a cloth. This is helpful when he wants to wipe down the table after dinner - not so helpful when he decides the cat needs a good sparkle. 




More than any of those chores, Kale likes to "help fix." He literally loses his mind when there is any mention of tools or fixing. Kris and I don't even attempt to work on something without giving a Kale his own tool and a piece to work on. We couldn't ask for a better supervisor. 

mine.

The other night when Kale was screaming at his own shadow, "no, Kale's car! Mine!" I turned to Kris and said "I think we've officially hit the "mine" stage." 

I'm not sure I've mentioned this in the past but the "mine" and "no" stage are the two I have been dreading the most. Not much presses my buttons more than a person being so completely and utterly irrational. Even if they are only two. 

In the past week, EVERYTHING suddenly belongs to Kale. This is his face when I try to convince him otherwise: 

We thought we were doing pretty good by teaching Kale to take turns. In fact, Kale is always certain to make sure everyone has a turn at whatever he's doing. Kale pees? "Mama's turn pee!" Kale blows his nose? "Papa's turn blow nose!" (with the same snotty kleenex, of course). But combine taking turns with the "mine" stage and "my turn" has become Kale's ultimate comeback. 

"Kale, you can't eat the entire bag of chocolate chips - they're for baking!" 

"No! Kale's chocolate chips! MINE!" 

"Uh, no, they're not Kale's - they're for the cookies. Give them to mama, please." 

"No! MINE! KALE'S TURN! NO COOKIES TURN!" 

Let's just say that, uh, patience around here has been limited. Oh, the reasoning of a toddler..... 

If it's mine it's mine,

if it's yours it's mine,

if I like it is mine,

if I can take it from you it is mine,

if I am playing with something ALL of the pieces are mine,

if I think it is mine it is,

if I saw it first it's mine,

if I had it then put it down it is still mine,

if you had it then you put it down it is now mine,

if it looks like the one I have at home it is mine,

if it is broken it is yours.

holding hands.

For almost two years, Kris and I have been with Kale when he falls asleep. For the first year we wore him in a sling, bounced him on an exercise ball, or nursed him to sleep. During the second year we rocked him, nursed him, or simply lay next to him until he drifted off. We've all enjoyed these night time rituals, but as he approaches his second birthday we'd like to see him start falling asleep without one of us holding or snuggling him. We're in no rush and we have no expectation that it will happen easily or quickly. We're letting him set the pace with just a gentle nudge in the right direction from us. 

Over the past couple of weeks I've been worked slowly and patiently to have Kale fall asleep with me sitting next to him. The first night there was a lot of protesting, but within a few nights, he was seemed to accept things. On one condition. That I held his hand. 

"Mama? Mama sleep with Kale?" 

"No Kale, Mama is going to wait with you while you fall asleep and then I'm going to sleep upstairs." 

"No Mama! Sleep with Kale!" 

"Not tonight, Kale. I'll wait here with you though until you fall asleep." 

*sniffle, sniffle* "Mama hold Kale's hand?" 

How can I say no to that? So here we are. A new bedtime ritual. Holding hands. 

montessori monday: working with sand

The last couple of Montessori Monday's I've shared posts about Kale's floor bed and dressing basket, and so I thought it was time to get back to an activity. I took my inspiration from the many beautiful sand tray's I've seen online - 

oh sand tray - how we montessori

sand trays and other fun ways to prewrite - simply montessori

the sand tray - help from debbie

sand tray letter tracing - montessori moments

However, I knew Kale wasn't going to be interested in tracing letters or numbers in the sand (despite his new obsession with counting EVERYTHING..."oooonee, threee, four - FOUR POOP!"), but did think he'd like the texture and pouring. Turned out I was right! Kale loved this activity and was really focused throughout. 

Activity: working with sand

Age: 23 months

Materials: bowl/tray, coloured sand, straw, funnel, spoon, container 

Recognition of Identify 

Kale was so excited to see BLUE sand! He took a few seconds just to take it all in and go over the different tools in the bowl. We went over each one, naming it and looking at it. I was surprised at the patience he showed since I knew he was just dying to get his hands into the sand!  

Recognition of Identify 

It didn't take Kale long to figure out how all the different tools worked. He quickly unscrewed the container and tried spooning the sand in. I suggested he try the funnel (a new tool for him and a new word too) and he got it right away. When I suggested using a different tool, he'd pick it up and give it a try so he clearly understood what each one was and what it could be used for with the sand. 

Although he's obviously played in sand before (and eaten his fair share too!), he seemed to enjoy the texture in a different way than when he's digging holes or building castles at the beach or playground. He liked pouring the sand over his finger tips and when he got some on the table, he rubbed his hands across the sand. 

Discrimination Between Similar Objects 

The tools were all pretty different so I wasn't sure how to incorporate this part of the presentation. Kale was clearly enjoying filling the container, taking the lid on and off, and pouring the sand - all skills we've worked on with other Montessori activities! After about twenty minutes (which is a loooooong time in Kale's world), he started to get more interested in pouring the sand outside the bowl, so we wrapped things up. 

I'm really looking forward to Kale working with sand trays more as he gains more interest in writing letters and numbers. In the meantime, this was a great activity for developing his fine motor skills and we'll definitely be taking some of the tools to the playground with us this summer! 

wait - who has the weak immune system?

Thanks to everyone and their mother who shared stories with me about how often their kids were sick the first year they had them in child care, I felt pretty prepared to have a near-constantly sick toddler on my hands this winter. Which happened. I mean, from November to March we were lucky if Kale made it a full week without having to take a sick day. A million little colds, a case of pink eye, some random fevers.... nothing serious - just enough to keep him home for a day or two. Now that the weather is warming up and Kale's immune system is getting stronger, we've made it at least a month without missing a day (excuse me while I go find some wood to knock on). 

So I was prepared for this. I knew it was going to happen. Thanks for the advice everyone. 

What I wasn't prepared for? How often I was going to get sick. 

I'm pretty sure that I've picked up every cold that Kale has had. I even got pink-eye before he did after going to a parent-teacher interview in the classroom. On the weekend we had dinner with some friends and the day before they mentioned that their daughter had a cold. They wanted us to know in case we decided we wanted to keep Kale away. But the next day they said she was better and so we went. And she was better. In fact, I wouldn't even have guessed she had a cold if her parents hadn't told us. 

And now? Well now I have a cold. 

Ugh. So this was just a really long "I'm not blogging because I've been sick" post. 

At least I have this guy to keep me smiling: 

montessori monday: the dressing basket

Before having Kale, one of my co-workers, who's husband works out of town for long stretches of time, told me that she does everything possible to prepare for her day the night before. In fact, she even pours her kids cereal and puts the spoon in her bowl so all she has to do in the morning is add milk. At that time, I thought she was mildly neurotic. Now I just think she's a genius. 

Like my co-worker, I do my best to get as much as possible ready to go the night before (bags packed, clothes laid out, etc.) and in the morning we've got a pretty solid routine. 

Everything was going pretty good until a couple weeks ago when Kale decided he wanted to pick his own clothes out and dress himself. I'm all for this, but we just do not have time for it. Have you seen a toddler try to put his own clothes on? It's painfully slow. And frustrating. And oh my....it just doesn't work well for us at 7:58am on a Monday morning. 

So when I saw the idea of a dressing basket, I was all "that's almost as smart as the spoon in the cereal bowl!" 

Step 1: Find an awesome basket. Ok, any basket will do. A shoe box would do. But I'd had my eye on a cute basket I saw at the grocery store but had no use for and couldn't justify buying and then - BOO-YEAH. Kale needs a basket. 

Step 2: Try to remember to have Kale pick out his clothes before we go to sleep. This saves us having to go through the process in the morning. 

Step 3: Put the basket of clothes out and ask him "what goes on first?" and let him figure it out. He still needs a lot of help with actually getting dressed, but he loves taking the lead and working on his independence. 

{if you're new here, this is Kale's version of a smile}

{step 4 - remove stickers you find stuck to your leg under your pj's}

If all else fails, you can always use your awesome dressing basket as an awesome cat bed: 

current {v.2}

loving. The feeling of knowing you made the right decision. A few months back I was asked to present at a conference in Texas (all expenses paid). I decided to turn it down - mostly because I've never been away from Kale for one night, never mind four days. At the time I was making the decision, I knew there was a strong likelihood that I would still be nursing and I didn't want to force him to wean by disappearing for four days. I'm pretty sure my work and those who were offering me the funding thought I was insane. I was worried that I was damaging some professional relationships - and I probably did - but now that the start of the conference is a few days away, I know that I made the right decision. And that feels good. 

noticing. How often bloggers steal ideas from other bloggers. I know it's hard to have an original idea these days - just when you think you've got one, you notice someone else is already doing it. Then you find yourself thinking, "was this even my idea or did I see, forget that I saw it, remembered it, and then thought it was actually my idea??" Ok, maybe that only happens to me. The point is, there is a difference between being inspired and straight-up stealing. For example, I kept seeing these "currently" posts around blogosphere, and so I did a google search to see if it was part of a link up or if I could find where they originated (I couldn't). It took me all of three minutes. Other people should try this. And it's ok to be inspired (well, more than ok), but c'mon - give credit where credit is due. {/vent over}. 

looking. For a beige trenchcoat. Still. I'm pretty sure I've tried over 100. I fully expect to find one in late May when there is only one week left of coat wearing weather. 

enjoying. This little bit of free time. Kris and Kale signed up for swim lessons. Ok, I signed them up. But not just for the free time! I know they're going to have a blast together and in the meantime, I get a quiet house. Everyone wins. 

welcoming. Suggestions for a new show to watch. I've done Downton Abbey and I just finished catching up on Mad Men. I'm clearly in a period-piece drama phase. 

loving. The three new goldfish that have joined his classroom. He loves to show them to me and tell me who fed him that day and when I ask him how many he counts "five, six, seven, eight!! EIGHT GOLE-FISH, MAMA." 

looking. For chocolate. We've given Kale the odd piece of chocolate here and there, but he's quickly become an addict. He asks for at least once a day and yesterday was pretty upset when Kris wouldn't give him some when he saw at the check out of Canadian Tire. We used to be pretty strict with the "no sweets" rule, but we've been sliding the past few months. This is something we've got to turn around before we have a total chocolate monster on our hands. 


enjoying. The Hungry Caterpillar. Yesterday I was cleaning the bathroom up and Kale wandered off into his bedroom. I stopped to listen closely and could hear "ooooone cupcake, oooooone watermelon, oooooone cheese." I peered into to watch him flip through the pages, "veeeerry hungee catapilla, veeeeery hungee." And then I died from cuteness overload. 


wishing. That we had a giant foam pit at home. Yesterday was our first day of gymnastics and Kale fell in love with the giant foam pit they have. Now he's been climbing on the furniture and jumping off everything. Except we have hardwood floors, not foam pits. I'm pretty sure he's figuring it out.....

Montessori Monday: Kale's Floor Bed

Normally I do a montessori-inspired activity for the Montessori Monday link-up, but I thought I would also start sharing some of the ways we have embraced montessori methods and philosophies into our home and daily life. 

We enjoyed a family bed from the night Kale was born until we decided to night wean around 15 months. While we followed Dr. Jay Gordon's method for night weaning, which is specifically for families that bedshare, we knew that night weaning in our family involved Kale and I moving to separate beds. We decided to move Kale {and Kris} to a floor bed for a couple reasons: 

• We were not finished co-sleeping. While I had to move out of the family bed to make night weaning a success, Kris was happy to stay with Kale and enjoy all the cuddles. This meant that a crib or a toddler bed was out of the question, so we put our spare double mattress into Kale's room. {If you're interested, here's a post about our night weaning journey}
• We liked the philosophy behind a floor bed - that kids can be independent and decide when to go to sleep and when to get out of bed. According to Montessori, humans have a natural tendency to explore the environment and learn from it. By allowing the child to experience his environment in this manner, he will be able to understand all of its components and will be comfortable and at ease when alone in his room (from mariamontessori.com)

The transition to the floor bed was pretty seamless. Kale was used to sleeping in a regular bed with Kris and I and we had always kept ours low to the ground. With Kris still there, the only thing to adjust to was not having me there all the time (I still bedshare with Kale when Kris is away and in the morning when he leaves early for work). 

Kale only fell out of the floor bed a small handful of times (and slept through most falls). The bed is close enough to the floor that it wasn't a big deal. 

In terms of getting out of bed on his own - well it just doesn't happen. When Kale wakes alone in his bed, he will call out for us and stay put until we get there (mostly because he's still half asleep). There have been a few times that I'll be in the shower when Kale wakes up and he's wandered in. We actually wish that he would get himself out of bed, but Kale pretty much always waits for us. 

Our entire house is childproofed, so we don't have to worry about him wandering into another room or playing in his room if he did decide to get himself out of bed. In Kale's room there are plenty of books he can reach if he did decide to help himself {here's a link to a tour of Kale's room}. Next to his room is his montessori-inspired playroom. He just needs to figure out that getting out of bed by himself and exploring is ok! I'm assuming that he's used to waking up with one of us in bed with him, so when he wakes up alone, he's confused and so he just stays put and calls for us. 

{This is Kale pretending to sleep.}

The floor bed has been great for sleep, but it's also made Kale's room more fun! We all pile on the bed at night to read stories and Kale can jump on and off as he pleases. He loves to run and throw himself on the bed and roll around. We don't have to worry about him falling off or banging his head on anything (besides the wall!). It's also pretty awesome for jumping off: 

Here are some great resources if you're thinking about using a floor bed in your house: 


Maria Montessori - "To Crib or Not to Crib"
Mama Milieu - "The Montessori Floor Bed"
Mon Petit Amour - "Montessori Floor Bed" 

And just for fun: 

Don't forget to check out the other amazing montessori monday posts! 

 

We'd love a vote :) 

 

23 months.

Kale is 23 months today! I swore that this month would be the last that I would refer to his age in months - there's something odd about saying your kid is 64 months, no? We'll see if I stick to this promise, because suddenly "30 months" doesn't sound as weird as I thought. 

What Kale loves: 

• Being outside. We've been pretty lucky that we haven't seen anything close to what I would call a "tantrum" yet. I mean, we've had some major meltdowns, but there's been no screaming on the kitchen floor, pounding fists or purple faces. However, today I saw a glimpse of a tantrum. It happened when we told him, that after being outside for every waking moment for two straight days, that he had to come inside. "NOOOOOOOOOO MAMA!! OUTSIDE! OUTSIDE!!!" There was banging on the door and tears. And then less than a minute later, he stripped all his clothes off and announced "swimming!!" 

• Swimming. Last weekend the weather was awful and so I had to think of some creative ways to keep the little man happy indoors. I got the bright idea to put our swim suits on and jump in the tub together to go swimming. Kale thought that was awesome. Now he wants to swim with us at least twice a day. I can take a hint, kid - I signed you up for swim lessons this morning. 
• Geese. Kale is all about the geese. There are a couple that hang out on the lawn of his school and he loves seeing them. When I pick him up from school and he doesn't want to leave, "do you want to see the geese?" is pretty much the only thing that will get him out the door. Have I mentioned that I have a terrible phobia of birds?
• Counting. I should clarify - this should actually read "counting to two." Kale loves to count to two. Whenever there is more than one, there is two. A thousand blades of grass? Kale counts "oooonnnee, twwwo! Two grass!" Twelve birds in the sky? "Ooooooneee, twwwwoo! Two birds!" He can actually count higher than two, but two seems to be the magic number for some reason. My favourite? "ooooonnneee, twwwooo baboo's!" 
• Driving. I always hear about kids that love something so much they'll do it for hours. I swore once I found that thing, I would take full advantage. I didn't care if it was watching tv or eating playdough - I needed to get dishes done while my kid was entertained! Well, we found that thing - it's driving. Our car. (in the driveway, obvs.). Unfortunately, we might be looked down upon if we left our kid our the car in our driveway for hours. So we sit out there with him while he drives. For hours. 

What Kale hates: 

I don't want to be all "my kid is so awesome he doesn't hate anything" but seriously - my kid is so awesome he doesn't hate anything. Ok, he still hates washing his hair, refuses to let me cut it, would rather be outdoors, and isn't a fan of sitting still. But really? Those are peanuts compared to how much he LOVES just about everything. 

Things to celebrate/big events/milestones: 

• College Royale! Kale enjoyed his second College Royale - our alma mater's annual open house. 

Drinking the closest thing you can get to a fresh milkshake. 

• Audrey's birthday. Kale helped his friend Audrey celebrate her first birthday! We are super lucky to have Audrey's family live so close and had an amazing time helping celebrate! 
• Meeting Ollie. Michelle & Audrey and Kale & I went to visit our internet-turned-real-life friends Meg & Ollie. We showed up, trashed their place, ate their food, pooped in the middle of the living room (in a potty! - Kale, not me!), and called it a day (a really good day, too!). 

Ollie, Audrey & Kale - the cleanest kids you've ever laid eyes on. 

According to Kale: 

• Kia. Last month Kale was calling himself "KK," this month it's Kia. Even Kris and I find ourselves calling him Kia. 
• Kale misses a lot of connecting words, but we understand. For example: "Kia? Mama? Swimming bathtub? SWIM BATHTUB! SWIM SUIT! BATH TUB!!" This means: "Ma, get your suit! We're goin' for a dip in the tub!" OR, "Mama? Food? In mouth! Kia food mouth!" means: "Ma, put some food in my mouth, I"m starving over here!" 
• Kale likes to yell at the cat a lot. He is extremely possessive toward the cat. Lots of time we'll hear something like "No! Bubbie no! Kia's fork! No bubbie fork! Kia's!" This translates into "get your own fork, cat!" 
• My favourite? "Mama, classroom! Fish! No eating! Onnnnnnllly eyes. Only eyes." I asked his teachers what was up with this and they told me that they had talked to the class about getting a fish. Kale was super excited because he loves to eat fish. "Eat fish? Eat fish?" he asked them. They had to explain that "no, this fish was not for eating. Only looking at with our eyes." 

guest blogging - Hope Squared

Today I'm posting over my friend Emily's blog - Hope Squared. E-Ho ( née  E-Wadd), is pretty much my favourite lady friend (and I use the term "lady" loosely...you'll see why). Then Emily married one of my favourite dude friends and there was an explosion of awesomeness - and only partially because they got married in Cuba and invited us to come. Since I don't get to see Emily and Steve (and their cat Basil) all that often, I love, love, LOVE, that I can stalk them via her blog. Trust me, you want to stalk them too. Her cat wears a bow tie. What else do you need to know? 

This morning when I saw my guest post on E-Ho's blog, I got a little teary eyed when I saw her refer to me as the "mom she wants to be."  Then I read that she wasn't going to post any embarrassing pictures of us from our younger years. Too bad I'm not as nice. 

There was a point in our lives where there were only two places you would find Emily & I - on the dance floor  or guzzling wine at the veggie & dip table. 

I guarantee you that Emily is grabbing my boob in this picture. 

No, this picture was not taken in the '70s. It was taken before we had digital cameras. That's right - this picture was taken, printed and SCANNED. That's how old we are. 

This is what most pictures of Emily and I look like. Unfocused, too close, and with a random dude in there (well, random-ish - we know this guy). It might have something to do with the wine we're always guzzling at the veggie and dip table.